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29 December 2004 @ 08:44 pm
Story Time!  
Yesterday I recalled an interesting story after an incident awhile back that makes for an interesting story now...Did you get that? I'll have to recall the first incident before explaining the next so...

I was at Dash's doing the Dash's thing by scooping tubs of cold food into plastic tubs, and I was helping this woman (40-ish, caucasian, short brown hair) when she says completely out of the blue "are you single? I have this girlfriend...She's really cute...What's your name, Ill send her over."

"Um...What? As much as I love to put my personal life in the hands of complete strangers......No? Take your chicken and leave."

Well...I actually said "Uh, my name's Earl (points to my nametag) but that's ok, I dont need help with my personal (read: personal) life."

I am curious however...If it was a friend of hers, how old could she be? I'm 21, damnit, although I've been told I appear somewhat older to those who dont know me. Which brings me to my next story...

Back when I worked at the mall, a store opened up called Mr. G's. It was a clothing store that sold street clothes at high, high prices. Not even very good street clothes. Anyways the owner of the store was a crazy looking woman (40-ish, african american, curly black hair...bad skin, chunky, horseteeth....) that always tried hard to get me to buy stuff from there. I couldn't even walk past the store without her waving me in...So one day, she waves me in and she's on the phone talking and tells me to hold on. She gets off the phone after a few rude minutes of making me wait while I'm supposed to be getting change for the register, and asks me if I have a girlfriend. I say yes, because...This woman scares me. She asks me what she's like...I ramble off some lies and she asks me "white or black." I pick the more amusing option and say "white" (that always pushes buttons with single black women). Then she goes on and on and says "she doesn't know what she's got...So...(finger twirls in hair)...What do you think of older women?"

....Yikes?

"Um...theyre ok however I much prefer to stay within my own age range."

"Oh I see...Well that's all I wanted to know...You can go now."

.......................

.........................................

....I guess I was flattered after the shivers stopped going down my spine.

Anyways...D&D Moment of the Week:

I am Aridol Fletcher (the Monk) reporting at the monastary in Ontosett:

I reach for the door handle to the headmaster's chamber but before I do I hear a voice from behind...

DM: "Welcome back Aridol."
Me: "Hello Master Ralph. I came to report back...I'm suprised you weren't inside as usual."
Ralph: "What, I can't take a bathroom break for even a second?"
Me: "Well I figured you being a powerful enlightened monk and all, you would have recieved special training for that..."
Ralph: "....." (Insert pissed off glare from the DM/Master Ralph) (Takes out an alarmingly large handful of dice and starts rolling them)
DM: Rolls them one by one. "...Ow....Miss...Miss...Ow...You take 32 damage..."

WTF.

Me: Start to cough and stutter..."I apologize...My time on the outside has made my tongue insolent."
Ralph: "So I see..."
Me: I have 9 hitpoints left...
Laughter...


Well thank god his aim is only slightly better than mine or I would be making a new character >
 
 
Current Mood: sillysilly
 
 
 
Jackiejackie34 on January 8th, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
OMG, that horseteeth lady story was hilarious! Is she still there? We should go back, and I'll pretend to be your girlfriend...

I need to amuse myself somehow.